How do you know when you've had enough?

How do you know when you're
through with infertility treatments?

How do you know when to stop?

When I first started on the
journey down infertility road,
I said "I will never do IVF. It's
too invasive."

Never say never!

Eight inseminations later and
at age 41, there I was in the
IVF clinic.

I only had a 10% chance of
conceiving.
10 % !!!

I thought I could beat the odds.
I kept thinking "If Christie Brinkley
can do it, so can I!"
(That's a whole other story now
isn't it?)

Anyway...........
I didn't beat the odds.
We were offered donor eggs.
We flatly refused.
Years later, I doubted whether
we had made the right decision
to stop.

Eventually, I had a hysterectomy,
thanks to the terrible monster
called endometriosis.
Even now, years later,
I still feel grief.
I still feel that yearning for the
little baby girl I just KNEW I
would have.
How do you know when you've
had enough?
I have no idea.
You may never know either.

Writing it all down....

Researchers have shown
that writing down your feelings
can help you move on and lay to
rest the upsets, fears and diappointments
in your life.

Some people write a journal.
Some people write poetry.
Some people blog.

I'm afraid to keep a journal.
It's not something I would
want anyone to read.
I'm not very good at
poetry (although I have never
really tried it.)
So I blog.

I blog to heal from my
own infertility.
I blog in hopes of
helping others.
I blog to put my thoughts
"on paper."

My friend writes poetry
about infertility.
I've read her poems. I feel
her pain and passion and
sense of freedom as she
takes control of her
own life.

Perhaps by writing it down,
we too, can heal, recover,
and regain
the control that infertility
takes from us.

Write On!!