Way More Than You Ever Wanted To Know

As you journey down the
path of infertility and the
medical treatments used, you
will find out way more
then you ever wanted to know.

You will become an
expert on:

every period you have: how many
days in between, the type and
amount of flow,
how long it lasted, whether it came
"on time", did you spot before
you started?

what your cervical mucus
looks like, feels like, and why you
care anyway

the exact hour you ovulate,
or did you ovulate at all? Was it on the
correct day? Which side was it on?

You'll know your progesterone level
and whether you always need to take
some

You'll know the size of your ovaries,
how many follicles you have,
whether your "tubes" are open, and
if your lining is "good"

the names, price and the best
LH surge kits

how to take a urine
pregnancy test 500 times
and never be pregnant

you will calculate your due date
every time,
just in case you get pregnant "this cycle"

you will learn what cycle buddies are;
the status of everyone else on "your"
message board, what baby dust is, what a DS,
DD, and DH mean

you'll learn whether your
husband really needs you
when he goes to the lab for a
"sample" or is
he better at it by himself.

you'll learn what a "good"
sperm count is and how
your husband is measuring up

You'll learn what these
acronyms mean:
REI, HSG, BBT, CCCT, HCG, ET,
FSH, HMG, IUI, IVF, ICSI, TESA,
PGD, PROST, GIFT, ZIFT, CD #,
RTL, and PCO

You will learn your body in
great detail and be looking for
every twinge, pain, cramp,
feeling of nausea, sore breasts,
implantation spotting, or feeling
tired.

You'll know exactly when you
last had intercourse and you
will allow the clinic to tell you
when or when not to "do it."

You'll learn how to give
yourself an injection, how to have
your husband or friend give
you an injection, how to mix medications,
what size needle to use, the difference
in syringes, how to change the needle,
how to make sure you aren't injecting
into a blood vessel, and how to make the
injection hurt the least. You'll learn
all these things and you won't even
get a nursing degree out of it.

Yes, infertility will teach you
way more than you ever wanted
to know. It is unfair.
You should be able to have
sex in the back
seat of the car and get pregnant.
Instead, you will become an expert
in the field of infertility.
And even though you won't get
even one college credit for it,
you may walk away with the
baby you've worked so hard to
have.