Even after all these years...........

It has been 15 (!!) years since I did IVF
and 12 years since my hysterectomy.

Quite frequently, even after all this time,
my husband will say, "If we would have
had a child........" and then go on to say
something about how we would have
raised him/her.

It is very annoying to me that I have
to be reminded over and over that we
did not have a child together.  When I
tell him it hurts me when he says that, he
apologizes and says he doesn't mean to
bring it up.

I guess I am just overly sensitive and feel
like I am still being blamed because we
didn't have a child, even after all I (we)
went through to make it happen.

Sometimes I think to myself,
"Doesn't this infertility issue EVER
go away??"

I guess not.

Once infertile, always infertile.
You would think that both he and
I would be over it by now. 

I have no words of wisdom on
how to"forget" the world of
infertility and the pain
and anguish it causes
couples.  Just shove
it down somewhere in your
brain and hope it doesn't
surface too often. 

They say that time lessens
the pain.  I am not so sure
about that.