"Oh the weather outside is frightful" (Not really, but the Holidays are)

It's coming.
That dreaded time of year
for people who are stressed
and angry and sad from the toll that
infertility is taking.

What is a person supposed
to do during this time of
great cheer and Santa Claus?
 Get in bed, cover your head
and come out for the adult
holiday called New Year's Eve?

Sounds like a good idea huh?

Here are a few other, more
realistic things you can do.

*Take a break from treatment. A couple
of weeks or even a month free of
doctors, injections, planned intercourse,
pee sticks, temperature taking, marking
off your cycle days on a calendar, yada, yada,
yada, will not compromise your journey towards
Give yourself permission to ditch all of
it...... just for a little while.

*Go ahead and go to the office
party, because no one will bring
their children to that!

*Skip the family get together and
go on a vacation to a warm sunny place
or a snowy ski lodge. (whichever is the
opposite of the weather you're having!)

*If you absolutely can't skip the family
stuff, be on your guard and have a few
rehearsed answers for the questions
you may be asked. Here is a really good
and simple one: if anyone mentions
anything about children, pregnancy, or
infertility, politely say:
"We aren't talking about that subject this month."
And don't allow them to make you answer their
questions. If they pry, just repeat it again:
"We aren't talking about that subject this

*Try a few little romantic dinners at
restaurants that don't cater to children.
Go to the restaurant that serves French
cuisine and skip "Chucky Cheese."

* Stay out of the mall on weekends.

*Rent some funny movies. You need a
few laughs.

*Get a "his and her" massage.

*Now is a good time to visit your older relatives, such as
grandparents and great aunts and uncles. You can
take them dinner and there's a good possibility
there won't be any children around.

*Do not feel obligated to attend any function, even
on Christmas Day, if it will be too painful for you.
You are an adult, and you need to take care of you.
Tell everyone you don't feel well. (You probably won't
be lying!) Then stay home, wear your pajamas - since
you don't feel well :) Eat some comfort food and read a good

*If you have a cat or dog, they are one of the
nicest things God has made. So love on them
and accept their unconditional love for you.

*Sometimes some of the best ways to help
yourself, is to help others. Go to a shelter and
serve Christmas dinner. Or invite an elderly person
with no family, to your house for Christmas Day.

*Most of all, remember that in the end, Christmas Day
is just another day in the year and you will get
through it and you will survive.

And after the holidays have passed, you can choose
to get back on that roller coaster and perhaps
you will have that little child you're yearning for
by the time next Christmas rolls around.

Single Mothers by Choice

When I initially created the
"Before You Were Born...Our
Wish For A Baby" storybooks
for specially conceived children,
I published ten different versions.
I thought that I had covered the most
common forms of assisted reproduction.
I was wrong.
I promptly received about 50 emails
from single mothers who
wanted a version for their
I had no idea there was such a
huge community of single mothers
by choice.
I began to research this and my eyes
were opened to a whole different
world of children conceived by
assisted reproduction.
(The IVF clinic, where I worked did not
treat single women at the time.)

Nevertheless, this community of
single women, who choose to become
mothers, had a need that I felt
obligated to help with.
Therefore, versions for single parents
were published. They were so
popular that they are now out of
print and I am working on a solution
for a reprint.  (I use my own personal
money to print the books and it costs
thousands of dollars.)

Since that time, I have received many
kind emails from parents,
authors, journalists and advocates
for single mothers.
One of those emails was from
Mikki Morrissette.
She is an advocate for SMC as well as
being a "Choice Mom" herself.
(I really like that phrase!)
The word "choice" is defined as the
"power, right or liberty to choose."
It is also defined as the "best or most
preferable; of very fine quality."
Both definitions apply to this group of women.
Not only do they choose to be a mother,
but they also choose to be a SINGLE PARENT,
which can be pretty tough sometimes.
So, if you are already a choice mom
or a single woman
contemplating whether being
a choice mom is for you, please
visit Mikki's website.
You can purchase her book:
"Choosing Single Motherhood...The
Thinking Woman's Guide."
This book covers many important topics
such as: typical everyday concerns,
children growing up in single parent
homes, methods of becoming a single
mom, day to day parenting, resources,
and how the children of single moms
are doing.
Her website also provides information,
resources, networking and support.
Thank you Mikki, for the important
work you are doing for choice moms.